It is not a secret that any relationships face hard times and
problems. It is better to be aware of the basics that will help to
start building strong ties from the very beginning to feel comfortable
with the partner.
1. Use relationships to teach you how to be whole within
Relationships
aren’t about having another person complete you, but coming to the
relationship whole and sharing your life interdependently. Learn to love
the distances in relationship as much as the togetherness.
2. See your partner for who he or she really is
The
romantic tragedy occurs when one partner attributes to the other the
qualities the latter doesn't possess. When you realize that more often
than not you don’t really know your partner, you begin to discover who
they are and how they change and evolve.
3.Learn from each other
Be
able to see the other as a mirror and learn from the reflection how you
can be a better person. When you feel upset, don't blame your partner,
remain awake to what has yet to be healed in yourself.
4. Get comfortable being alone
In
order to accept that love can’t rescue you from being alone, learn to
spend time being with yourself. By feeling safe and secure to be on your
own within the framework of relationship, you will feel more complete,
happy, and whole.
5. Look closely at why a fight may begin
Some
couples remain in a vicious circle by fighting and then making up over
and over again. This allows you to continue the romantic trance,
creating drama and avoiding real intimacy. If you become aware of what
you fear about intimacy, you’ll have a better sense of why you’re
fighting—and likely will fight far less.
6. Own who you are
Own
who you are. We generally grasp at romantic love because we’re yearning
for something that is out of reach, something in another person that we
don’t think we possess in ourselves. But then we discover that we
didn’t get what we were looking for. True love is about loving yourself
first. You can only get from another person what you’re willing to give
yourself.
7. Don't be scared of ordinariness
After
the fairy-dust start of a relationship ends, we discover ordinariness,
and we often do everything we can to avoid it. The trick is to see that
ordinariness can become the real “juice” of intimacy. Then everyday life
with the partner becomes extraordinary.
8. Expand your heart
We
all want to be happy, which also includes the desire to be close to
someone. To create real intimacy, discover the spaciousness of your
heart and bring awareness to what is good within you. It’s easier to
find the good in your partner when you’re connected to the good in
yourself.
9. Focus on giving love
Genuine love is first about giving. The unintentional outcome of loving others more deeply is that we are loved more deeply.
10. Let go of expectations
You
may look to things such as romance and constant togetherness to fill a
void in yourself. This will immediately cause suffering. If you
unconsciously expect to receive love in certain ways to avoid giving
that love to yourself, you will put your sense of security in someone
else. Refer to your own resources: offer love, attention, and nurturance
to yourself when you need it. Then you can let love come to you instead
of putting expectations on what it should be like.
READ MORE: http://news.naij.com/51938.html
Wednesday, 13 November 2013
How To Build Strong Relationships - 10 Tips
06:22
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